There is a little boy in my son’s class named Michael. I don’t know anything about Michael other than what I observed of him at a birthday party last year and on the rare occasions that I have actually made it to school for parent-invited activities. He has a significant speech impairment, and he walks with an unusual gait. He doesn’t really seem autistic to me, though, so I have no idea what his diagnosis is. Every time I have ever seen him he has been smiling and happy and very sociable. I have never had the opportunity to speak with his mother.
A while back I had to have a conversation with my son about Michael. Ryan wanted to know what was wrong with Michael’s brain and why he couldn’t speak very well. He wasn’t making any sort of derogatory judgment, he just wanted to understand what was going on. I didn’t have any answers for him, but I stressed that Michael is a nice boy and it doesn’t matter if he doesn’t speak well, he can still be a good friend. Ryan seemed to agree and said Michael’s lack of intelligible speech isn’t really that big of a deal because he “speaks Michael.”
The other morning we were sitting in line at drop off waiting for a school bus to unload when I spotted Michael walking up the sidewalk toward school. Ryan got excited to see him, lowered the window, and shouted “Hi, Michael!” Michael approached the car and said something to Ryan in his garbled speech. It was more like sounds than words, and I had absolutely no idea what he said, but Ryan apparently understood because he replied “Yeah, I brought mine too!” I dunno. I guess he really does speak Michael.
I waved and said “Hi, Michael!” He smiled and waved back to me. Usually my son walks into school alone while I watch from the car, but on that morning I handed Ryan his backpack and told him to get out of the car and walk into school with his friend. So he did.
As I sat waiting for the bus to move, I watched my significantly challenged son and his significantly challenged friend walk into school together, chatting away in a language I only half understand. I smiled with both gratitude and sadness, happy that they had found a friend in each other and hoping they can remain that way as they get older, when their disabilities become more obvious to their peers and they both have to endure the fallout from that. But in that moment I was happy, and proud of my son for seeing past another child’s disability and being his friend, when friendship in itself is a struggle for my son.
And as they walked away from me, I was left wondering if Michael is really tiny or if Ryan is really tall.
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Comments on: "Communication Breakdown?" (7)
Love, LOVE this post!!! Happy and proud absolutely! It sounds to me like both boys are extremely tall for their age.
AAwwww! Sometimes kids will surprise us by being more accepting of each other than we expect. That is the kind of story that makes me smile! Thank you–I needed that today.
We have a little girl with Autism that has been in Alex’s class since KG. They know each other, like each other and get along but the connection is not there. I so wish it was. For them to know there was someone else at school who was like them. One day they may get to that point but right now they just don’t seem to connect. Sigh. The fact he has a friend is such a good thing. They have in each other something that will get them through rough times, or at least that’s what I think. It’s so nice he has that.
I could not write any words that would equal the pure innocence reflected in this post. What a beautiful way to capture that Grace. Ryan is what every friend should be. I love this story.
So beautiful! Those moments are just as important to us as they are to our kids, aren’t they? How wonderful they’ve found one another!
That’s a great story! Totally made me smile as I was reading it.
I really, really get this.
I’m so glad you, and he, had that moment.